I'll bring the chips!

   
    There is no rhyme or reason to the order I may post things. It's difficult because there are a million and one things I want to say but I think some sort of organization is key. At least, it should be! This isn't a blog about the negative things that I've experienced during my pregnancy, it's about EVERYTHING I've experienced. Some days, it has been extremely challenging but most days it's been the most amazing adventure that I have ever been on!
    I don't think I have ever utilized Google as much as I have in the last several months. That search engine had become my partner during this, my confidant, my therapy. It might sound silly to some but I was grasping for answers that most people I know, had never gone through. No question, I have the support, I just didn't have that one person that I could relate to. Sure, I had some bits and pieces, friends who experienced being pregnant, friends who struggled financially, friends who in the long run became a single mom. However, what I was looking for, even Google was just giving me tidbits. It was up to me to fill in the spaces.
    I had LOTS of questions, LOTS of concerns and LOTS of urgency and VERY little answers. Now, that doesn't mean in the slightest way, that people didn't have their opinions, oh they very much did. I will tell you, it took every ounce of my being to not unleash my hormonal opinion back on them. People are unbelievable and yes, I know in their hearts they are just trying to be helpful and i am so grateful for how everyone has had my back but my goodness...walk a mile!
    Another thing that has really ruffled my feathers, are the sites that help you along your pregnancy, which I admit, I love. What I wasn't a fan of, was the automatic assumption of a father being in the picture. I understand that yes, there are many fathers that stick around and are there to support their unborn child. At the same time, there are many fathers that aren't around, regardless of them being overseas, maybe have passed away, maybe it's a surrogate or simply just not wanting to be there. So, when I would read these weekly updates from several different pregnancy pages, refering to "fathers", it would sting just ever so slightly. My partner through this whole experience was my mother, my strong, wonderully amazing mother! I think Jennifer Anistion had it right when she mentioned, "a sensitivity chip missing". Okay, yeah, maybe it was meant for Brad Pitt but in my world, it was relating to these "support" systems.